On some level, we all know that being able to say no to temptation today, in order to defer gratification for later, is a pretty positive thing, and certainly a useful skill to have.
In fact, deferred gratification is about as close to a superpower as any behavioral trait that has ever been identified. Psychologists, famously, have found that children who are able to wait a short while for two treats, instead of choosing to have one trade upfront, are significantly more likely to be successful and happy in later life.
Here are a few reasons why deferred gratification is a superpower.
Because in order to build anything significant, you’ve got to be able to work for the future, not for the present
Here’s a “secret” that everyone already knows: in order to build anything significant, you’ve got to be able to work consistently for the future, and not for the present. And this applies to just about anything in life.
If you want to start investing your money, it is axiomatic that you will treat that as a mid to long term decision, and not as something that happens over a period of 24 hours and returns immediate reward. The people who do go for investments that promise immediate rewards are usually in for a nasty shock.
By the same token, no business develops a strong brand, a loyal customer base, and a decent turnover, unless it has been diligently worked on over a long period of time.
Even in terms of your relationships; an intimate romantic relationship takes work, over time. If you just wake up each morning and say “I’m going to do whatever I feel like, no matter what my partner wants,” your relationship is already on the chopping block.
Deferred gratification is a large part of the key to making worthwhile ambitions into a reality.
Because acting impulsively tells your subconscious mind that you are in a desperate and deprived situation
Consider two different hypothetical people; one who always acts impulsively and spends his money as soon as he gets it, and another who always acts calmly, and invests and plans.
Which of these would you say naturally seems more like a successful and happy person?
Impulsivity is often driven by anxiety, on some level. You feel like if you don’t enjoy what there is to enjoy right now, you just won’t ever have the chance to enjoy it later. So, you don’t defer gratification, you don’t plan ahead, and you don’t even consider the future at all.
When you act impulsively, you send a powerful message to your subconscious mind that you are in a desperate and deprived situation. This creates a negative feedback loop which certainly doesn’t lead to happiness or success.
Deferred gratification, on the other hand, signals confidence and options.
Because deferring gratification more often, allows you to avoid exploitation in the here and now
A lot of people who are taken for a ride in one way or another, end up getting exploited specifically because they aren’t practicing deferred gratification
Get rich quick schemes, for example, depend on the fact that people are impulsive. So, too, do unscrupulous and unethical marketers.
By deferring gratification, you gain a lot more direct control over your own life.
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